Facing Reality
by Believe24
Summary: Booth wakes from his coma, but it's hard to wake up to a world where Bones doesn't love him. He knows they can be happy but can he convince her too? Season 5 BB.
1. Chapter 1

**This takes place after Booth awakes from his coma. He keeps having dreams about the life he had with Bones.**

**I do not own bones or its character... please review.**

Booth lay on his bed for the first time in far too long. He put his head on the pillow staring up at the ceiling eyes too wide to close. He wasn't used to sleeping alone in that bed. Before the coma he had been sleeping alone for months and yet after only five days he couldn't get used to the strange feeling. He remembered every night he had spent with Brennan in his bed, even nights from years before. Their first night, the last, how happy he was. When she told him about their expectant family he could see his own smile and it was happier any smile he had seen in any mirror. A smile that, a feeling, it was just too good to just be a dream.

He crossed his arms and lowered his brow waiting for some sign of sleep. Every muscle in his body aches from lack of sleep not to mention all the poking the doctors and Sweets had been doing to him the last two days. Sweets decided that there was no time to waist when it came to fixing his psyche, bones had told sweets about what happened when he first woke up. About how he started ranting about a night club and wondering why he was in the hospital and the gravedigger and Jarred. His memory was now slowly returning, he couldn't imagine how confused bones must have been when he was yelling about dancing at the lab. He now knew that he was Booth and FBI Agent whom was partnered with Brennan. But still his fantasy was the main thing in his mind, it was so real and he was so happy with Bones sitting in his lap telling him she had to stop drinking wine. He would do anything to be that happy again. They were so in love, he could see it in her imaginary eyes as she sat on his imaginary lap celebrating their imaginary family.

He turned over for the hundredth time his mind just as awake as it was two hours ago. The rest of him was so tired, if he got up to get a sleeping pill he feared he would keel over. He tried to stop thinking but every time he got close an image of Brennan or his brother in prison Orange would appear. He felt crazy. He turned o err one more time. ' If I'm not asleep in the next ten minutes I swear ill kill you!' He said to his own brain. Sweets would have a field day.

His eyes finally started to grow heavy and his brain finally seemed to calm. His irrational threat brought on by possible insomnia seemed to work in some sense. He closed his eyes thinking of the club.

* * *

_Brennan walked into her office where Booth was already drinking some scotch out of her Crystal glass collection she kept on her desk. It had been a few weeks since the murder case closed but the club's business was a bit slower than he liked. There was less to do around the club which gave him a lot of down time to do what he wanted. Like read one of doctor Hodgens' books, it was very impressive at least in booths perspective; a scandalous murder of an intern in D.C. _

_He looked up from a book he was reading and was pleased to see Brennan leaning against the doorway. He greeted her with a smile being sure to admire her very tight black dress. He didn't even mind that it wouldn't fit her much longer, even if she did look incredibly sexy in it. She walked in and sat on the leather couch leaning against booth. He put his arm around her back moving her closer to him. _

_"What are you reading?" She asked rubbing his chest. _

_"One of that guy Hodgins' books. I was just in the mood to read some books. It's actually kind of good, you see it's about an FBI Agent and an anthropologist who were investigating the murder of a governors intern, and in-" Temperance grabbed his collar to kiss him silencing his lips. He kissed her back holding her face, she pushed him back till his back lay on the sofa and she lay on top of him still kissing._

_"Still in the mood for reading?" Brennan asked rubbing booth all over his body. He flipped her over on the small couch kissing her down her body._

_"Knock knock." Said Angela also knocking on the wall. The two perked their heads up at the interruption. "Oh.. oh my sorry, sorry I'll come back later when your..." _

_"Angela no, no your fine. Come in." Brennan said standing from the couch. Angela waited to be sure but saw that they were both fully clothed and came the rest of the way in. _

_"Okay so since the murder there has been a drop in customers and sails are going down and a bunch of other stuff that is all really bad." She rambled._

_"Like what?" _

_"Like for instance the club a block away has been booking a band who happens to be part of a gang that just so happens to be enemies with C-cents brother and who just so happens to be threatening to kill c-cent and anyone affiliated with him. That's bad right?" _

_"Yes... Angela you should have started with that. This club is just getting back to normal we don't need a gang Lord threatening everyone's lives and my families lives." Booth said straightaway._

_"Well I thought that if he ever did try to kill any o be you could, you know. Bang his head into a wall like that other guy." She replied just as seriously. _

_"For the last time I didn't kill anyone Angela! And if you're saying otherwise you need to stop." She smiled at Booth and nodded then walked out. _

_C-cent had been performing at the club since the homicide case ended which was about a week before. His brother had cut a deal with booth to make that happen but booth was worried about the possible gang excursions that could take place because of it. That was exactly what was happening now. His brother hadn't kept his promise. _

_Booth looked at his wife with great concern, they both knew that the brother was a very dangerous gang banger that had shot up threats club that fired his brother. No one was able to convict him since no one saw his face, but he took credit for it on the streets. But if the rumors were true Booth would kill him, anyone who threatened Brennan. He had been in the army and his temporary showed it not to mention his excellent aim. "We'll be fine Seely we have done nothing to cent that should piss off his brother." She said reassuringly and kissing his forehead and wrapping his arms around her body._

_"You're right. We're going to be fine." He grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck nearly not being able. His neck was twice as thick and sometimes she thought he was twice as high, but it didn't stop her from trying as their lip met once again. The feeling was so real. He couldn't get over the scent of her perfume or the feeling of a zipper that went all the way down her back. It was so real and so good, too good to be just a dream. They fell onto the couch with a thump, Booth suddenly emerged from his dream clenching a pillow as tight as he had been holding Bones._

* * *

"I don't know what's going on! I'd there still something in there? Why do I feel like I'm hollow?"

Booth and Sweets were sitting at the royal diner in their normal spot discussing Booth's condition over a cup of coffee. Sweets sat with a normal demeanor in a suit and tie casually sipping from his cup. It bothered Booth a bit that the man could look at him with the same expression as always even with such news. This was one of the strangest conversations they had ever had and yet he sat there as cool as ever with the therapist knob turned way up. He waited for his response but still Sweets stayed quiet, seemingly judging Booth with his big child like eyes.

"I think your problem is that there's a part of you that still thinks you're in that fantasy. There's a part of you that would rather be there." He finally answered setting down his mug.

"Well, yeah a lot of me does. It was... I don't know appealing, wonderful? What do I do?"

"Do you want to forget about it?" Sweets asked. Booth thought for a moment. His coma dream wasn't just appealing, it was exhilarating! He was so happy there in that life. But it was keeping him from going back to work. He nodded. "Well my advice is to confront the facts."

Sweets waited for a lightbulb to go off in Booth's head. "I can't go back because it wasn't real, face reality."

"Powerful stuff, reality."

They refilled their cups again and again as they discussed Booth's dreams and coma. Sweets what pressed with the amount of detail booth was able to describe. He knew that he did really feel for Bones a after his coma. Any one could no matter they were, if seemed the smart people were the ones who didn't notice i.e. bones. She was the smartest person either man had ever met and yet she didn't realize how booth felt when he was standing right in front of her. Another cup was finished and they were talking about his insomnia. Booth was starting to grow tiered of Sweets nonsense. Suddenly his phone rang, it was Angela

"Hello- yeah- ok be right there, bye. She's cataloging bones from the cold war and she needs me to look something over. See ya Sweets." He sipped down his fourth cup of coffee and rushed out of the diner.

"Remember tools we learned today." He yelled to him but by that time he was half way to his car.

Booth drove to the Jeffersonian within a few minutes but was thinking about what he was going to do when he saw everyone again for the first time since his nervous collapse. Brennan was away for work, she made the trip just after he woke up because she couldn't bare to see him in such a fragile state. She thought of him as a great, strong man who could do anything. A man with a great heart and personality. Seeing him in such a condition wasn't what she wanted to see ever, it hurt her a little though she'd never say it to his face. He was very grateful of him and his protective skills.

Booth walked into the Jeffersonian as he always did. The last time he was here he thought it was a night club and thought he was married to Brennan. He knew that it was a lab but he could still remember every detail of the club though, every light, the stage, the colors and smells. But this was real life, he had to try to keep his mind in reality and not think of the brain tumor. He walked onto the main floor with the examination tables and screens and medical instruments he knew and loved. He suddenly realized that if he forced on the little things his dream became more blurry and easy to ignore. He didn't get into the main platform because he hadn't been given his key card back yet but he didn't need it. Angela saw him and came running towards him.

"Booth, you're back!" She exclaimed giving him a slightly awkward hug. "Are you better? Do you know who I am?"

"Ya Angela I know who you are." He said pushing her aside

"Are you better though? I headed the last time Brennan saw you you were- confused."

"I'm fine Angela. Sweets has been watching my progress. There are only a few kinks to work out."

The truth was there were more than a few. Not of was there memories that hasn't been there before, but he had lost some too. He found himself doing things differently than he would have before. Or liking things or disliking things that he hadn't before. Angela was the most emotional person in the lab, he didn't want to worry her with those kinks that would most likely work themselves out in a few weeks.

"Oh, well good. We're glad to have you back Booth."

"I'm not back, just visiting. Just here to help you with something."

She looked at him with sad eyes but nodded and led him to her office to work on the bone photographs. He didn't enjoy it, he didn't want to look at old cold war bones, he wanted to see Bones, his partner and great friend. Finally end the dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**"I'd like to put my dear little pistol against her head and just press the trigger." -Agatha Christie **

It had been another worthless empty day. Spending it all at home alone in bed or watching tv, then meeting with Sweets for an hour and then going back home to do nothing again. Sweets insisted that booth not go back to the lab until he could with total confidence say Booth was fit for normal duty. At that time he wasn't, Booth was still experiencing memory loss, different perspectives and of course, the dreams. Booth kept saying he wanted to get passed it and get rid of the dreams, but Sweets knew better. He knew that underneath he enjoyed them and missed being the reality. He needed to accept the fact that what happened wasn't actually real and that Brennan didn't love him. Booth already knew that though, he had a pretty good grip on reality it was the continuous dreams that followed each other that confused him. Dreams were supposed to be random with hidden meaning, not meanings that flat out screamed what he was wanting.

He liked to think there was a chance that everything he saw would come true but he wasn't a betting man. Brennan was jagged and rough with a hard exterior and he could t say he'd ever seen the interior of tough scientific Bones. She was an opposite of him in many senses, but differences kept romances alive. The Bones he saw was different from the real one and he would never asked her to be like that. Brennan in his dream smiled a lot more and understood jokes and didn't need science to explain herself. It was the Bones he wanted her to be and she would never be like that in reality.

At the end of every day now he would look forward to what he was going to dream up next. Perhaps he could write his own book. That would puss off bones he knew it, even if he didn't show it. He laughed at the idea as he climbed Into bed. He doubted he could sleep. He had had the world's most pointless day. He had been laying on his back for hours what made this any different? He was one of those men who always had to be doing something. If not they would nearly go mad with boredom. Whenever he had down time he would usually spend it with Bones. But she had left for business. That was what she called it anyway, in the back of his mind he knew she had probably left out of concern and confusion. She was taken back when he woke up thinking she was his wife. He didn't blame her, he was just barely figuring himself out so it would be near impossible for her to as well. But he wanted her to figure him out, figure out he lived her and realize she loved him back. That was the only thing on his mind day after day; through the confusion of wondering whether he liked chocolate or peach ice cream, if he shot with his left or right hand, which hand he ate soup with. Bones would know those things she always had no matter what reality he was in; she knew him whether she would admit it or not. He needed her to tell him these things so he could become him again.

Booth put his head on his pillow with one on either side because it made him feel less alone. He took a sip of water and his second sleeping pill of the night and closed his eyes. It took a while for a sleeping pill to work. He folded his arms just waiting and thinking, wondering if yet again he would dream of a life that was seemingly better than his own. He wasn't sad, just distressed that his brain was causing him so much difficulty.

* * *

_The club seemed different. Business was not only slower but more shady. The people who came in would only step in for an hour at most and then leave. A rival gang of C-cent's brother called the Chaserz were threatening the business of the lab. They had a lot of power in the community obviously and they intended to use it. Brennan was worried that they would hold true to their threats, but booth thought that if they fired C-cent tan they would have two gangs looking to burn down their club. Booth was hoping that everything would resolve itself in a matter of time, and if not he'd punch the founder of the gang right in his tiny head. He knew the man, a scronny looking man with an army of giant guys behind him. He could take the little bastard and become the new founder if he wanted to. They may have guns, but he had a pistol and years of army combat training. _

_The slowness of the club didn't stop either of them from having a good time at home. In their bedroom with a mess of clothes covering the floor they lay on their bed, Booth supporting Brennans head with his arm both covering themselves with a signal sheet. Booth stared up at the ceiling with his wife in his arms staring up at the ceiling perfectly content. He didn't need to be doing anything else. No words needed to be spoken in his mind because being there at that exact moment was perfect. He looked at Brennan who had a less content expression on her face as if she had too much on her mind. _

_"You should go see your brother. He did save me after all." She said Turing to him and then kissing his lips trying not to upset him too much._

_"Yeah I know. I do appreciate what he did but he murdered another human Temp. Murdered." _

_"Yeah, you both killed before. How does that not bother you must as much?" _

_"It does. But we killed for the good and protection of others. He killed for a personal reason with no law to break his fall." The moment was gone. He removed the covers and started putting on his clothes. "I'll get to it. And I am grateful." By that time he was starting to put on a button down blue shirt. _

_"Fine. Are we going to the club than?" She asked putting on her robe turning her back. "What are we going to do about this gang issue. Dc isn't rebound for gang violence like Detroit or new York is. We don't know what they are capable of." _

_Booth knew she was right. Tv nor news ever focused on harsh gang violence in D.C. or anywhere else in the area. You never heated about dc unless it was political or presidential in the matter. However, according to his brother murder was at an all time high in the dmv region. _

_He walked around the bed to bones and crouched down to her sitting level. He could tell she was more frustrated than angry and neither were directed towards him. He took her hands and made them food in her lap and kissed her again. "We are going to be fine. I'm gonna fix all of this." He looked to her stomach which was just barely beginning to show any sign of her pregnancy and smiled. "We are all going to be fine. You love me right?"_

_She smiled greatly."of course." She kissed him back._

_They drove up to their night club at 4:30 pm. The club would open at nine but they were usually there by 3. As always they parked in the alley and as always Zach was just inside by the door. Booth had hired the poor kid out of potty but he had proven to be a gifted sweet guy that everyone loved. He had an innocent stamina that always made him more positive. He opened the door and came running to the car before it had completely stopped. His face looked panicked and distrought. Booth and Brennan hastily got out of the car lifting up their sunglasses to look Zach straight in the eye in the midst of his panicked. They waited for him to speak but didn't want to scare him away. _

_"It happened again!" He finally said. They waited again for him to elaborate. Booth stepped forward to Zach and grabbed his shoulders firmly. "There is another dead man in the bathroom."__Brennan suddenly grabbed her husband's arm from behind. Was it possible something like this could happen again? Two different killers it had to be so, Jarred was in prison, it had to be someone else. But in the same bathroom exactly one month later. It was obvious to booth that it was a warning but of what was another question. _

_Zach led the two into the club hastily and cautuoisly. The rest of the staff had shown up at least quickly half an hour earlier and had all seen the body. Brennan walked arm in arm with booth who led them both behind Zach. He wondered why there were no cops or forensics specialists at the club yet but kept walking and then entered the men's bathroom. He could see the feet of the man just outside the last stall of the bathroom, the rest of the staff followed them in keeping a large distance. Zach grabbed a paper towel and carefully swung open the silver green door. Brennan squeezed his muscles on his arm tighter at the sight. Immediately they both knew who it was and were extremely concerned. He was wearing a tight purple and black suit with black buttons and a hat by insect hand; he had a new haircut and off centered Sun glasses. It was the worst possible person in these unpredictable and dangerous times to be dead. It was Eddison, popularly recalled as C-Cent. A man whose brother had threatened Booth to get him in to sing and the brother of a man whose rival gang was threatening the club. Fragile peace orbited around his employment at the club and with his him dead there was nothing that his brother would do to avenge him. _

_Brennan held Booths arm as he examined the body, she looking over his shoulder. "Did you tell anyone a out this?" He asked turning to everyone. _

_"No, we were waiting to see what you wanted to do." Said Wendell who was leaning against the back wall of the bathroom. He was always a shady person, a man of few words, very mean to those he didn't know. _

_"Why, you still think I'm partially responsible for the murder of that assassin?" Booth said stepping forward._

_"Are you?" He asked with a small smile crossing his arm. Booth made his face flat and serious, he walked over to Wendell like an angry gorilla slapping the tile wall an inch from Wendell's face. He made him break a sweat. _

_Booth spoke in a lo e pitch neat growling. "I had nothing to do with that murder. You have any doubt two about that yo can talk about it outside. I am not a murderer, but I can break your fingers without even trying, so why don't you-" _

_"Booth!" Brennan yelled. He turned looking at his concerned wife. She hadn't seen him act like that since a gun had been put to her head two years before. He looked to Wendell again who was still in a defense position, he walked away. _

_He moved back to to the body and Brennan. She kneeled down and started staring at the body with sudden interest. "It looks like he broke his femur and several broken ribs prior to the murder." _

_"And you know that how?" Booth asked_

_"I took some forensics specialty in high school. I used to be very into this kind of stuff. We should definitely call the fbi now."_

_Beep-_

* * *

Beep beep beep, the alarm by his bed read 8:15 but it felt like he was only asleep for a few minutes. He started looking around the room disoriented from his dream. They were getting worse, harder to separate fact from fiction when he woke up every morning. He needed to not have to remember what world he was in each morning or try to figure out which hand he used to brush his teeth. It was like being in a whole new life every day. He needed to get this under control or the effects of the tumor would never be conquered. If he couldn't remember how he lived his life day after day, how he did the little things, what he liked and didn't like things; than there was only one other person who could. That was bones, she knew him as well as he did, and in this situation she knew him better. He had to call bones. He couldn't take not knowing himself any longer. Even if it was only a few things he needed to relearn.

He didn't know what time it was on her little island but it couldn't wait. He needed help, and he really, really missed her. If it wasn't for his delusions of when he first woke up she would probably still be with him helping him mentally recover. She understood as well as anyone how annoying Sweets could get.

He reached for his phone and for some reason,started thinking very hard about an old rotary phone, a red one with a circular dial and a hand full of wires. But it wasn't one of those phones, it was a cell phone. He shrugged it off and dialed her number. It only rant for a few second then she picked up.

"Bones!" She said excitedly.

"Booth. Hi. Have you recovered from your mental emotional collapse of memory, or are you still recovering?" She didn't waist any time cutting straight to the chase. She was always so blunt.

"Umm yeah, I'm still recovering. Sweets says I'm doing well but isn't ready to give me my badge just yet. How are you bones? I've missed you."

"My forensic analysis of these bones have been proving to be very educational to the native population."

Booth was sad that she was being so serious about everything. It was the one quality he wished she could trade from his dream. "That's nice bones."

"It's very late here I need to get going. Good luck on your recovery."

"Wait! I need your help! Bones I think you're the only one who can tell me about the little things I used to do. I find myself doing things differently than I used to and I need you to remind me. You know me the best out of anyone." He tried to make her stay on the line a little while longer.

"I'll be back soon. When I get back then I can help you. I do have to go." Which she did. She had been up for days seemingly.

"One more thing please... Why do I keep thinking of rotary phones?" He blurted. Bones was intrigued.

"You love them booth. You used to play with them at your grandfather's house. Remember."

Booth suddenly did and slapped the desk. "I do! Thank you bones!"

"Bye booth." She hung up the phone as hastily as possible. Booth made her nervous. The last time she saw him he thought he was in love and told her. The doctors said he was delusional and he forgot he did, but he did. She didn't know what to make of it. It was fascinating. But strange.


	3. Chapter 3

For the first time in days Booth was allowed to go to the office. He felt that that was the day he would finally get his badge back and when Sweets would say that he was fully recovered. He wanted to get back to work, he needed to. He had started cooking everything in the house then throwing whatever he had just made in the trash. Then he would work out for nearly two hours straight and by then it was only 11:30.

He walked into Sweets airy office and sat in his couch. Sweets stared at him yet again with a blank expression awaiting Booth to start the conversation. In every session this happened and Booth always gave in. This time he was going to play it out. He was going to make sweets start this conversation so he just stared back folding his hands together and leaning his chin on them. Sweets crossed his arms and also waited. To him it was not a game, wanted to see where Booth was going to start today, it was always something different. Booth still thought of it as a game, he had this in the bag! Did he see sweat coming down his opponents cheek? He saw him moving around his chair squirming, begging for the torture to end. How long had this been going on? It felt like ten minutes but when overlooked at the clock it was barely thirty seconds. He moaned

"Uugghhh... Fine. I keep having dreams and I find that every time I wake up its like I'm losing my family." He said quickly. Sweets unraveled his arms and leaned forward.

"Where are you in these dreams? Where chronologically?"

"Well, there was another murder. It was doctor Edison but in my dream he's a rapper. And bones is two months pregnant about."

Sweets raised his brow. "Wait a second. Doctor Edison in your dreams is a dead rapper. Does everyone at work have their own special part?" He tried to understand. He thought bones was the only one that booth was dreaming about. He hadn't mentioned others before.

"Yeah, uh... Angela is a hostess. Uhh your a bar tender. Wendell, don't know about-"

"Wait wait wait wait! I'm in this, and a bar tender? Really, your dreaming about me as a bar tender?" Sweets suddenly seemed intrigued. He decided to use this.

"Yeah you got the whole look and everything, and, and you listen to people like you do now but in a different atmosphere."

"Seems your sub conscious is giving your friends possible alternative jobs that you would find in a night club. For instance bar tenders are often referred to as baby psychologists."

"Yeah yeah yeah, look can I just have my badge?" Booth asked stretching out his hand. Sweets lost his boyish smile and stood still for a moment. Booth mimicked him.

"Yeah, yeah sure. I pronounce you fit for duty, only if you come in to see me every other morning starting tomorrow. That way I can monitor you." He gave him his gun and badge which Booth gladly snatched up.

"And these dreams?"

"Give them time booth. As your remembering more about your real life you won't have to rely so heavily on your fictional one." Booth nodded and happily walked out to his car.

He drove to the lab as quickly as to me would allow him. His talk with Bones had convinced her to come back or maybe it was Angela he didn't know. He did know that he did want to see her. He needed her to understand what ha had gone through and why he may have done what he had done. And above all else he needed to make her realize how he still felt. The feelings contrary to Sweets diagnoses were not fading in the slightest. With each time he felt closer to the people and wanted to be a part of that life more and more.

The lab reminded him of that as he stepped in for the first time since he had talked to,Angela. It wasn't an inviting environment, it was too clean, too cold and impersonal. But the people he did love in a weird way. They were all so weird. He never felt like he related to them because they hid their true personalities under the mountains of scientific mumbo jumbo crap. They had to dumb it down so far to make him understand w which they found very amusing. That was another thing, he didn't get their sense of humor. Bones was the only one he found truly funny and that was because she was just so literal. She so different the squints didn't understand her. And they were some of the weirdest people booth had ever met in his life. A normal person would gag at dead flesh, they relished in it. After four years he still wasn't used to the smells that cultivated in the lab.

The squints were all standing around a table examining their favorite thing in the world, a dead, decaying man. Hodgins had his instruments in his hand extrapolating a foreign bug from the man. He looked and smiled excitedly at the strange creature he had just pulled out of the man's mouth.

"Booth you're back!" Cam said excitedly coming off the platform. "You are back right?"

"Yes. Sweets gave me my badge and everything. What's this poor guy doing on your table?"

Wendell started talking looking over the corpse. "We found this old guy in old towne by the boat dock just outside the torpedo factory. A balloon animal was making a turtle for a kid when,he spotted the dude on a floating piece of wood surrounded by bottles and cans. There were even a few ducks going at him."

"Ducks are omnivorous?"

"Yeah... They eat fish and will basically eat anything that smells like one. And this guy definitely smells like one. The Potomac river isn't the cleanest over there." All of the squints had their noses covered by masks. Booth was concerned.

"Wait this guy was found by the green gazebo with the fountain right? By the fancy restaurant? I used to take Parker there to feed ducks then go to the deli right next to it. There are hundreds of people that go there every day. It couldn't have been that easy to put a body down there without anyone seeing."

Suddenly the room fell silent as the doors to the lab slid open. Everyone turned seeing Temperance walking through the door with a rolling black suit case by her side. It was the first time anyone had seen her in a month. For booth the first time since he woke up and scared the hell out of her. Her hair was up in a small high bun and her clothes were well ironed and business like. Booth couldn't help but wear a big smile on his face at the sight of her. He had been stuck dreaming about a fake bones for a month and finally got to see the real one.

"Bones. You're back." She said with one of his more awkward smiles as he walked down the steps with his hands in his pockets.

"Yes I am, seeing that I am standing right here in your clear visionary path." She said even more awkwardly. Booth took his hands out of his pants and gave her a short side hug which she didn't know what to do with. "Have you fully recovered from your trauma?"

"Not completely but I'm getting there. I kind of need your help on some things."

"Couldnt you ask Jarred about your certain quirks and tendencies?" She asked stepping back.

"Jarred and I... Weren't close as kids. He doesn't know me that well." He stepped forward again. "You know me better than anyone else." Brennan seemed very concerned for booths behavior. She looked to her left and started walking to her office. She was making sense of everything in her mind. Booth followed close behind. "What's your problem bones? You just left after I woke up. I really needed you and I still do."

"Booth your behavior towards me seems very make." She blurted.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I am here to examine bodies and to perform work and you are not. Your posture and tone of voice tells me you are expecting more and I am currently unavailable for any extra curricular activities." She said in the most scientific way possible. Booth could barely understand what she meant but he could tell vaguely what she was talking about. She thought he was behaving differently, romantically towards her. And she wanted no part in it.

"Bones. What did on say to you that makes you think this?" He asked even though it was true.

"I don't think it matters since you don't remember." She said. He started at her. "You thought we were married. You said you were in love. And I understand that you were on heavy medication but I still think that if the brain has the ability to make something like that up there has to be some truth in it. And I don't want anything to change in our relationship. Now I have to get back to those bones." She walked around him and walked out to the stage.

Booth sat on her couch in her office. He groaned to himself at his stupidity. He had driven her away after all. What was worse was that she seemed embarrassed at his feelings towards her. He needed her help to remember but she wasn't in any mood for helping. He wanted her to love him but she was In no mood for that either, obviously. He cupped his hand and put his head down and closed his eyes in anger.

* * *

_The FBI came in a hurry bringing Dr. Saroyan with them. She had no new partner not because she couldn't get one but because she didn't want one. She and Jarred had made a good team and it seemed wrong to try to create a new partnership so soon. Sometimes she regretted pointing the gun at his face and other days she wished she had just pressed it right then and there. He had plead guilty. She felt strange._

_"This body seems to have been here since around two in the morning. Temperance did you hear any scream, this time?" Cam asked rather snarky like. Brennan gave her a rather sour face and crossed her arms._

_"We were both home by midnight last night. I have my publicist a call at around 12:30 from the home phone if you need our alibi." Booth said putting his arms on Bones' shoulder. _

_"But no alibi, yet again for your wife." She said walking towards her. Brennan felt like a caged animal being stared at by an angry spectator. _

_"She was with me. I can find proof if you need it. Stop staring at her like she's done something wrong!" Booth was getting a bit annoyed at all her speculation towards Brennan. She had never liked her or the idea that she was with booth. She had had a flying with him years before and she thought she was in love but at the same time he met bones and their relationship ended. She distrusted bones ever since. _

_After a few months she met Jarred who became her partner and later realized he was Booths brother. He took a liking to her and she did to him. They dated for a few months but it got no where fast. Eventually they gave up on a real relationship and Jarred suggested an alternative arrangement. The best term was sex friends. They continued in the fashion through the others relationships. Booth was not happy with the whole situation and they both knew he was judging them. He expected behavior like that from jarred who was basically a man whore, but not Sayoyan. She was a professional, elegant woman who should be doing more._

_"Alright you all clear out this is an investigation, get out your employees will be interrogated later, make sure they don't leave town." She said. The rest of the team cleared out into the main floor. They all sat at the bar facing sweets who was inside cleaning out glasses. Booth and Brennan were standing both leaning their backs on the railing. "Does anyone want to tell me why that doctor in there needs to investigate us again? You have anything to say you better say it right now. The way you his evidence the last time around was unacceptable and immoral." Booth started yelling. Brennan grabbed his arm. "Anything you saw heard or smelled I wanna hear about it right now! Then tell the police the exact same thing tomorrow. You got that Wendell? You all better-" Brennan suddenly grabbed his arm with both her hands leaning down starting to lose her ability to stand. Booth grabbed her trying to keep her standing. _

_She was as pale as a ghost with sweat dripping down her face. Her stomach twinged making it hard to pay attention to gravity. Booth didn't know what do or know what was going on. "What, what's wrong?" He asked her frantically. But she didn't respond, she was losing consciousness._


	4. Chapter 4

**First you think your worst is a broken heart, what's gonna kill you is the second part**

**And the third is when your world splits down the middle.**

**-the script**

_The next moment bones was in a hospital bed. The same one he was in when he had woken up from his coma. She was staring up at him in worry not knowing how she got there or why she had collapsed. Booth had similar worried. He didn't know why his wife had collapsed and it worried the hell out of him. He couldn't bare to hear that she had a serious internal problem, or even worse if something was wrong with the baby. Even worse was if she lost the baby. So many thoughts rolling in his head and he had no answers. It felt like they had been there for hours. Brennan seemed to worried to talk as she sat in bed grasping booths hand. _

_"No matter what happens we will get through it together you got it? I'm not going to leave you no matter what. I'm not going to leave you." He said softly._

_A moment later the doctor came in with her labs and charts waiting for the two of them to settle. It felt like she was torturing him. He just wanted to hear what was wrong with his wife, and if something was wrong with their baby. _

_"It seems your uterus was hemorrhaging Mrs. Booth. We repaired it during your surgery you will be fine as long as you stay in bed for the next week. After that you are free to do any exercises or activities. But be warned this can happen at any time again and we may not be able to repair it as easily." The doctor said. The warning echoed in booths mind liked a hollow scream. He had no idea what she was talking about. It sounded like a made up diagnosis but he wasn't one to argue. The worries continued as the warning continued to echoed in his mind. He couldn't shake it. It was a horrible feeling. The doctor left to let them be alone. Brennan turned to him now seemingly relaxed. _

_"You need to go back to the club." She said seriously. His head turned so quickly he nearly had whiplash. _

_"What? No no I'm not leaving you. You need me, you're in a hospital for God sakes. It's no time for me to abandon you." He exclaimed. _

_Brennan looked at him with her deep eyes in a loving way. "I'm fine for now. The club needs you. We have a murder for God sakes. You need to look after those idiots before they tamper with anymore evidence. You got me?" _

_He nodded. He just hated having to leave her. And the warning, it scared the crap out of him._

* * *

Booth had been given advice from Sweets on how to manage his issues. He had been told to remember things that happened before he met bones, like Iraq or college or FBI training courses. But he didn't like to think about Iraq. He didn't talk about it to anyone except bones and he barely did with her. Iraq was a place that he hated even if there were some amazing people that he met and some exciting times, war was not ever supposed to be remembered positively if at all.

Even if he did want to think about it he had far too much on his mind. How could he? Something was messed up inside his brain, why would it make him think about Bones being sick or passing out or something and then make him wake up a moment later? He loved her, or at least thought he did, why would he be dreaming about her in pain? Was he that sick? It was horrible! He felt horrible waking up on her couch in her office. She was sitting right there at her desk staring at him quizzically as he looked around trying to take everything in. Whenever he was angry he wanted to punch something that was just the way he was, and in this case he wanted to punch his brain for making him see those horrible things. He had seen some gruesome things in war but that wasn't his own fault this time it was.

Now he knew he was insane. Just insane. What the hell was he thinking? He was loathing for a hurt bones when the real bones was sitting right there, totally fine at her desk. He kept telling himself that she wasn't real, that they weren't in love but he said that everyday and nothing changed! He would love if he and Brennan were together but she was hollow to the idea. He just had to focus on work. There was a new case of a man aged 40-48 found at the old towne pier. A lot of tissue was removed by ducks and the giant catfish that hung out by the docks waiting for food. They definitely got some from that guy and not just bread. One eye, half the flesh gone, an interesting case to investigate. There was a fancy restaurant a few yards away to the left so the guy couldn't have been there for too long since no one noticed the body right below the seats. Booth was loathing the time that would eventually come when he and Brennan had to go out in the field and investigate possible suspects. Still, time that forced them to be alone with each other could help things even if it hurt. He could talk to her on the car ride, maybe get some information on his own life that he had forgotten. He hadn't lost everything obviously but it still bothered him that he didn't remember to put funny socks on everyday.

"Ready bones?" Seely asked coming out of her office her still sitting at her desk looking up rather confused.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"We gotta go out on the field, you know investigate some suspects. Let's go!" He responded adamantly. Bones stood from her desk slowly with a concerned look on her face.

"Booth it's two in the morning. You were here when I came in to finish some research. I thought about waking you but I weighed the options and decided to let you continue sleeping." She answered.

Booth dropped his arms in shock. He had fallen asleep probably at around six in the evening and he hadn't planned on falling asleep at all, let alone on bone's couch. They were already in a rocky place since his out burst he didn't need another issue to arise. He stood in her door way for a while until he could figure out what to say.

"Uh, well in that case I'll, I'll go home. Goodnight bones." Inside he punched himself. 'Is that the best you can do brain?' He thought.

"Goodnight booth." She said sitting back down digging herself back into her work.

* * *

Both booth and bones tried to forget the episode from the previous night. Booth met her in the early morning at her apartment and set out to old town. It was a short time to get there from D.C. but booth would take any time he could get. He still had very strong feelings for Bones and was concerned about why he had dreamed something so horrible. She faced forward in the car staying silent, he couldn't believe she was capable of the silent treatment.

"Look bones I wanna tell you how sorry I am about last night." He started.

"Oh no need for apologies, the body after a serious trauma requires up to three times more rest than a regular persons. I completely understand." She said using fact to cover up what she truly meant.

"Yeah, but I'm not sick anymore. I'm fine I don't know why I fell asleep so early."

"From what sweets tells me you are still having some issues with hallucinations, but it seems now they are in the form of dreams. It's rather fascinating. "

"Sweets told you?" Booth exclaimed nearly running off the road. He took control of the wheel again but stared at bones.

"Sweets decided that to get over these dreams you have been having you need to face them up front. So, ask anything. I'm an open book ask anything you want." She said in a proud demeanor.

"I don't want to ask you anything bones, I just wanna talk to you. You know like we always do. Just this time maybe about something more personal." He said nervously. She nodded confidently.

He didn't know where to begin. What was he supposed to say? I love you, I have been dreaming about a life with you and I wished you cared about me? That would just run her off again. She was an important part of him, he hated when he wasn't with her whether they were involved or not. He didn't think she could handle any kind of relationship, every one she she had recently seemed to blow up in front of her because she didn't know how to express her feeling. It was massive flaw that she had but she did as best she could. Even so,she was the most amazing anthropologist in the country, probably the whole world and he greatly respected her.

"Well. Fine I do have a question." He finally said. He looked at her and she nodded telling him to proceed. "Why did you leave for another country after I woke up?"


End file.
